| en | This user speaks English at a native level. |
| pl | Polski jest językiem ojczystym tego użytkonika. |
My name used to be Natan, and that means something like “He gave”. Therefore i attempted to give goodly unto others, but foremost walk humbly under the ever-watching presence of Our Father (for in reverse order, are these not like unto the Two Commandments? Reversed here as to say, that one should save the better wine until the end). Eventually i hoped to change my name away from Natan, because some people who i tried to give to, absolutely rejected my attempts to give my best to them, it broke my heart (and the breaking of a heart isn't something that can easily be proven or portrayed at will). i didn't know how to live up to my name anymore, so i eventually chose one of my other names to be my main name.
i have decided to not do any more compositions at this time, it was taking me into the wrong direction in life, and the process was very hurting sometimes. After posting Op.1001, i quitted and retired this unfinished project. Earlier, I had hoped to do 1000 opuses. And then i noticed a strange thing, after i quitted - that i had done exactly one tenth of the amount of opus numbers that i wished to earlier (if counting by amount of opus numbers published) - Because 100 seemed to be 10 percent of 1000. And it reminded me about the tithes, and that i hadn't been paid at all for any of this toil, so i suppose that it can be considered to be my tithe, or something - i quit.
i'm sorta happy to retire, and unpaid too! i hope to spend much of the remainder of my time to plant the fruit trees and stuff, in a publicly accessible places so that everyone can have free food if they need it, for those times after the government probably does more of the evil stuff that they do.
It seemed… If you hope to be heard and understood, often it isn’t enough to know of some high truths. i found that the higher i seemed to go into truth, the more sceptically the listeners seemed to treat me. Until it was almost as though they were possessed by very hurtful chastisers, whose ears seemed almost entirely incapable of hearing it. i wonder if this mystery had something to do with the Crucifixion? So instead of what seemed like talking to a wall… i, personally, retreated into this house for little while, to try to create evidence of high intelligence (even as a form of self-defence). In my case, it meant to channel / write music, record it, make it heard and known.
Also, the programming of some special software seemed somehow favourable in the present time. But after many years of work, eventually i chose not to perfectly finish that app, at this time, because the store which sells many softwares, including that free app, was justifying ways that i did not entirely agree with, and because if the software were completed according to the plans that i discovered, i may have quickly become redundant as a composer and the systems could then do as they pleased, and for example: to continue to justify ways that i did not entirely agree with. i recommend against using it - it's quite badly done, and it's probably not for you anyway (it's more of a selbyville idea? lol, just joking), it's a proof of effort to show to my Dad. One of music teachers in high school even suggested the idea to make it.
But who knows how valuable that stuff truly is? ~ Our Father knows. Our Father hears and sees it all, and will eventually reward you for your labours.
A music teacher called me "nat-dog", it made me to try harder to be a better musician, so maybe he would be happier with me. Though i learned slowly, eventually i became improved, and therefore i found myself thankful for such things.
regarding of some experiences and the insights they provided me:
Thank you for your kindness, and have a happy day.
["while i did generally avoid to consume meat or alcohol, each of those notes, to me, was similar to a grape in a big Vineyard - that those who ate of them may to find more contentment in this difficult place ~ though there seemed good in covering one's shame (lest to mislead others), may we also not to fear Truth, rather to embrace Truth and therefore never to be inclined to say a false promise, or to give a false hope"]
